You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with
How to Identify Negative People
In personal development and in pretty much any area of life there will be a common theme. This theme is basically to ‘surround yourself with positive people’. This can take any form. If you want to get good at something find the people who are good at that thing and simply hang out with them. If you want to be rich surround yourself with rich people. If you want to be healthier surround yourself with healthy, active and healthy people. It really is that simple.
You don’t even necessarily have to take notes or ask for advice on what they are doing. Your subconscious mind will simply adopt their beliefs, good habits and their personality. Eventually you will soon – Almost magically become that person.
On a very simple level you know exactly how to cut people out. You are just afraid of the repercussions. Have you ever owned a really sharp knife before? Have you ever used said knife on a really new, soft, delicious loaf of bread? Imagine how easily that knife cuts through that bread – Almost effortlessly. That’s exactly what you need to do with your relationships with negative people. Just completely cut them out of your life. Cut off communications and let them know you want them out of your life. I will go over how to do this in my next article. For this article I want to talk about what these people look like.
What Does Negativity Look Like?
The problem may not be that you don’t want to cut them out but maybe it’s that you don’t even know you are hanging out with negative people. Maybe, in fact you are negative yourself and you hang out with other negative people with negative beliefs because you have commonalities. If your friends don’t recognize this then you have to do so yourself. If you want to develop yourself and reach this impenetrable confidence you need to realize your own flaws as well as the flaws in others.
In order to identify these people I created a short list of some of the characteristics you can watch out for in people. This list starts with the most negative characteristic to the least negative characteristic:
- Criminals/addicts. I put this on top because not only will it hurt your mindset it can ruin your life. You can easily end up in jail for years if not decades for just being associated with these people. Not only that, but their mindsets are very flawed. Criminals clearly have a mindset of the more I take the better off I will be. Addicts are dependent on outside stimuli and are simply untrustworthy as they may care more about this stimulus than your relationship.
- People who hate life. Are always down on themselves. Nobody wants to be around a depressed person. They simple sap the energy in the room.
- Obviously, if somebody is very negative about everything stay away from them. Ask yourself how many positive statements do you friends make – How much positive statements do you make?
- Ignorance/limiting beliefs. People who are just close-minded and won’t listen to others is someone you don’t need in your life. These people have a lot of limiting beliefs that they can’t or won’t overcome them and by hanging out with them you will adopt these same limiting beliefs.
- Anger is a very low form of consciousness. Angry people are not in control of their emotions. Hanging out with angry emotions will make you angry as well. It will also make you impatient and you may feel that controlling your emotions is even unimportant.
It’s important to have characteristic’s to look for because our brain often tricks us into thinking our close friends are not negative because we don’t want to deal with the reality of cutting them out of our life. As a general rule – Hang out with the people that you want to become.
The Different Types of People
This, of course, is easier said than done otherwise you would’ve done it by now and you wouldn’t be here. To help you out I would like to change your perspective on things. The first thing I want you to do is get a list out and write down all the people in your life. All of them. Every single one. Acquaintances, family, friends, spouse, co-workers – Anybody whom you associate with on at least a monthly basis, or anyone who is important to you.
When you do this you will find that these people fall into certain categories. These categories vary in how hard it is to push them out of your life. Sometimes your bond with another person isn’t as easy as cutting through bread. Sometimes it’s more like cutting through a pound of meat. I went ahead and created a quick list of the types of negative people that are in your life. This list starts with the easiest people to cut out and ends with the hardest:
- Clients, Customers
- Friends, acquaintances
- Boss, co-worker, business partner
- Childhood friends
You might make small changes based on your life but for the most part this list is universal to everybody. The reason why I created this list is because when thinking about the negative people in our life we only think about friends, intimate others or maybe co-workers. We don’t even consider family, wives/husbands or childhood friends. Everybody can be cut out of your life. Some are just harder than others.
This is the trick the brain plays on us. We can’t even imagine cutting these people out of our lives because they have been such a significant part of our lives – So much so that our entire identity is dependent on them. That’s exactly why they need to go.
You need to look at the people who you think you can’t cut out of your life more than the people who you can easily cut out of your life. Because it’s those people that you have close bonds with that you identify yourself with. If you really want drastic change in your life it starts with those people.
You can read self-development books all you want. Read every article on this website or any website all you want but if you are hanging out with the wrong people you are those people. Period. It starts with pinpointing exactly who is negative in your life and figuring out how to cut them out.
In my next article I’ll begin to talk about how to exactly do this. Should you even cut them out? Should you help them instead? This is a huge topic so I decided to split it up into two articles. I will see you next time!
Have a great day!
Check out this video below if you want more tips on how to find the negative people in your life.