“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.”
How To Stop Caring About What Others Think
How to stop caring about what others think is a very personal topic that I have struggled with most of my life. I have always been shy most of my life. I never spoke to anyone and as a result I felt like an outcast to society because I was to afraid to speak up. I was afraid people would judge me. I wanted everyone to like me so much that I was afraid to even give my opinion on things. Everyday I was so stuck in my head I was afraid to put my true self on the line because I didn’t want to be ridiculed.
To some extent we all struggle with this internal battle in our minds, some more than others. In this article I want to shift your mindset. I won’t give you solid tips to overcome this obstacle but I will shift your mindset so you are less in your head about what others think of you.
Why Do We Care What Others Think?
Its human nature to want to be accepted by everyone. We all have this self image of ourselves that we want to keep. We all want to be perceived as a kind hearted person. The problem is that its not enough to think we have this self image. We want everybody to see us in the same way we see ourselves. We need the external, social validation to confirm this self image. This causes us a lot of stress because we literally go around and try to force our own perception of ourselves onto other people. This is a losing strategy. One of the things you need to realize is that the person that you think you are will never be the same as how other people perceive you. This is because everybody has their own perception of reality. This is the same reason why some people have different opinions about different celebrities despite the fact that the general public is – for the most part, fed the same knowledge about each celebrity. We all have different values in life which causes us to like or dislike a person. So a good way to look at it is not “This person doesn’t like me” instead look at it as “This person as different values than me”.
Should You Care What Others Think?
I would like to emphasize that its not wrong to care what others think of you. As I’ve mentioned before it is human nature to want to be accepted by everyone. Being conscious of other people thoughts and feelings toward our actions is how our society functions, its also how we make human connections – by caring about each other. Imagine a society where everybody didn’t give a f**k what others thought. It would be chaos. Have you ever had a loud neighbor? Or a parent who can’t control their kid? Or perhaps someone playing loud music in a public environment? Imagine that everywhere. So you absolutely do want to be conscious of your environment and social queues. But you don’t want to let it affect you so much you are afraid to let your true personality out there. There is a fine balance to absolutely not caring what others think and always caring what others think.
It Is Always Better To Be Loved Than Liked
It is always better to be loved than liked. What do I mean by this? In our last section I said to imagine a society where nobody gave a f**k what others thought of them. Now I want you to imagine a society where everybody cared about what others thought about each other. Everybody is super nice to everybody. No more loud neighbors, no more loud music. Everybody says please and thank you and leaves everyone alone. Sounds like an awesome place to live right? But lets think about this. When are you personally afraid of what others think of you? I want you to think of all the times you got this fear. I can guarantee all the times you got this fear is when you were about to either, do something you don’t usually do or you were about to do something nobody else has done. If we lived in a society where everybody was like this there would be no achievements. Nobody taking the lead and accomplishing their goals despite what other people thought. Everybody would follow the herd of society and would never break out because they want to be liked by everyone.
The truth is these people are liked by (almost) everyone. If you are just average and super nice the vast majority of people will like you. Nobody will get jealous and nobody would hate being around you. But they will never love you. If you are the person who’s not afraid to put himself out there you are putting your true personality, your true values and your true self on the line. People have different values and personalities and the people who has opposite values or personalities won’t like you. Most will probably even hate you. You have to accept this and find the people who align with your values, they will love you and love being around you. These are the people you need in your life. You can’t connect with everyone and it would be detrimental to try. Instead of trying to put on a fake personality that you think everyone will like, put your true personality out there that some will love and others will hate. You can either be different, or the same. You can either achieve or remain the same. Its your choice.
My Challenge to You
I want you to stop basing your personality on what others think of you. I want you to stop seeking validation from other peoples opinions. I want you to put your true self on the line and expect some people to not like you. Not because these people are bad but because they have different values and personalities than you. And that’s okay. Live a life you want to live, not a life society wants you to live.
Have a great day!
If you want more information on this subject feel free to check out this video below. It goes more in depth into the subject.