“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
How to Overcome Fear of Failure and Rejection
The fear of failure and rejection is a common fear us humans have. I am sure you are well aware of this. So how do you overcome fear of failure and rejection? A lot of it is beating this monster within you that is telling you, you’re no good. This monster doesn’t exist. All your fears and self-doubt is self-inflicted. So the first thing is to realize this. This means that in order to overcome this fear you must overcome yourself. One way to do this is to just reframe the entire situation.
If you want to overcome the fear of failure and rejection you have to stop looking at failing as a bad thing. Look at any successful person’s autobiography and notice how many times they have failed. We all have to fail in order to succeed that is just part of the process. So instead of looking at failure as a bad thing look at it as a rite of passage. Look at is as a learning tool.
In fact you should be reframing failure as a good thing. What would life be like if you never failed? What if you just looked back in your life and all you did was succeed? That’s boring. Life is all about the highs and the lows. In fact you remember the lows even more. You remember when you were down on your knees, at rock bottom and you still rose and climbed to the top. The people that fail the most and have the drive to get back up are not only the most successful but feel the most fulfilled as well because they got back up where most people didn’t. Look at failure as a filter. If you want something you have to go through this filter. Yes you may fail, but as long as you keep going you will succeed. Don’t get filtered.
Fail and Get Rejected
Well I’m sure you saw this one coming. Just do it. In order to get over any fear you have to just do it. Feeling that fear is a test. You can either pass or you can fail. Often times when we are afraid of failure it is because we haven’t gone all in. Our brains are still trying to get out and it’s trying to rationalize itself out of the situation.
Before you embark on any big endeavor where you may feel this fear I want you to consider all your options. Ask yourself all the questions. What will happen if I fail? What will I do if I fail? What is the worst thing that can happen? Once you conclude that you should do this or not I want you to go all in or nothing at all.
If you have weighed the pros and cons of something and you have already started walking this path. Stop looking back. You’re either going to do it or you’re not. So whenever these thoughts of failure pops into your head and you already decided you are going to do it, tell yourself that. Just say to yourself I already decided I’m doing this and whatever happens, happens. Don’t try to rationalize with your brain. Don’t keep trying to convince yourself just ignore it and tell yourself it’s already been decided. It’s done. That’s it. Trust that you made the right decision. If it doesn’t work out – Oh well you’re still alive. You can even picture these bad thoughts written on a piece of paper and just lock it into your head. Decisiveness will come a long way in getting over this fear of failure and rejection.
The last way we will talk about today is being present. If you think about it what is fear of failure and rejection anyway? It’s contemplating what could happen based on what did happen. Does the future or past exist? No it doesn’t only the present exists. After you have decided to do something forget about the future and just have faith in yourself. Put your focus on the present moment because if you distract yourself on what can happen your attention isn’t on what’s happening right now. The now will soon turn into the future so put your attention to what is going on right now. This will allow you to have the best performance possible.
Have a great day!
Brain Tracey is a very successful entrepreneur and self development coach in his own right. Here is a video where he talks about overcoming fear of failure. Its short and full of value. If you have a few minutes I think you should check it out below: