Life is too short to spend in negativity. So I have made a conscious effort to not be where I don’t want to be.
In my previous post I talked about how to identify the negative people in your life. Now I’ll talk about how exactly to deal with these people. How to get rid of them and should you get rid of them.
The first thing you need to realize is the extent of damage these people will do to your life if you don’t take action. These people are like an infection. They infect the mind. Just like an infection you don’t know you have an infection until you get the symptoms. But it’s even worse than that because most of the time these ‘symptoms’ are symptoms of the mind and these are very hard to discover. Much like the infection the longer you wait to treat these symptoms the harder it is to treat.
It soon starts spreading throughout your whole body. In this case, it spreads through your mind. It infects your
beliefs, your habits, your perspective of the world becomes warped and you don’t even realize it. This is not something that you can put off. You need to take action right away.
This might seem like a rather harsh thing to say about your close friends and family – That they are ‘infecting’ you but it’s the truth. Acquaintances and co-workers are easy to cut. Your bonds are not as strong and you can cut communication off or change departments. Depending on your job this may be easy or hard. If anything, you may need to quit your job if your boss or co-workers are extremely negative. But what I want to talk about is the hard things. How do you cut off the people who are close to you. Your family, close friends?
The first thing I need to address are the excuses. Everyone can be cut. The first thing your brain will tell you is that a person can’t be cut. Even if it’s your spouse, or your family, they can all be cut. I am not saying that you should cut your very close ties at the first sight of negativity. What I am saying is that it is an option. The more important people are to you the more leeway you should allow but you also should not delude yourself into thinking they are not affecting your mind because they are. If someone can’t be helped – No matter how close they are. You need to reserve the right to cut them off and it is that simple.
The real problem here is one of values. You need to stand up for your own values. You need to have a list of values which nobody can cross. If these values are crossed you need to say something. If it happens consistently then it’s time to cut them out of your life. Not being disrespected is a universal value everyone should have. If someone disrespects you need to say something and stand up for yourself. Its that simple.
Talking to these low consciousness people might help but if it happens consistently then issuing empty threats will get you nowhere. Whether it be a friend, family, spouse or even your child. Again, the amount of leeway you give, is on you but there has to be a line where someone crosses that you cut that person out.
How To Cut Them Out
The way you cut a person out depends on the person and how close you are with them. If this person is just an acquaintance and he or she is always angry always emotional it is best to just avoid that person. However, if it is a family member, a child or spouse it may be better to try to help.
You can sit down with them and tell that person how you are fed up with how angry they are and how it’s a burden just being around them. This will be difficult and the person may not want to hear it but for the small chance they do listen it might save your relationship. Most people don’t even realize what they are doing until you bring it up to them. But it’s important to remember that you can’t help someone if they don’t want help. The first step to dealing with a problem is admitting you have one. The sad truth is if this person is actually negative he or she probably won’t listen.
The next step (Or this might be the first step) is simply cut off communication. If they call you, ignore it. If they text you, ignore it. If you have to see this person daily then you might have to just straight up tell them you want them out of your life.
If you really don’t want to do this for whatever reason the next best thing to do is hang out with them a lot less frequently. You will need to find new friends who you do want to be around and hang out with them more often. You can find these new friends through networking events, meetup.com or anyway you want. If you get 5 new friends to hang out with and hang out with your negative friends occasionally it probably won’t affect your mindset as much. But again, this is a problem of values and I do suggest you try the route of simply cutting them out because if you let people violate your values like that, then that mindset will poor over in other areas of your life.
Have a great day!
Have you ever had to make this tough decision? Let me know in the comments below!